Long distance relationships NEVER work. Let me emphasize that never with a visualization. Never is nothing, impossible, does not exist. Just try to imagine a time that never happened, it's a negative moment in time, an imaginary, impossible number, dividing by zero.
Why such emphasis with a seemingly unnecessary amount of adjectives? Because, you see, I'm stuck in a long distance relationship. Yes, "stuck."
I love him. More than anything in this world, more than anyone, with more conviction and unwavering loyalty and addiction to him than I could ever consider sane. If you asked me why, I suppose I could try to explain. But it would never really make sense to you, as you're not me.
It's because I love him that it pains me so excessively. I'm not quixotic-- I'm actually very realistic about these things-- I just find myself enamored to the point where I'm forced to use the cliché phrase "can't live with him, can't live without him." I can't stand that he's so far away, can't stand that I can't see him, touch him, hug him, etc. Those simple pleasures really ought to be cherished more in the average relationship.
You can't just compare my situation to someone who's never had anyone, it's a very different pain. When your heart cries out and attempts to pull itself away from your body, just to be closer to the one you love(and who loves you with the same conviction)--something you can't be-- a part of yourself might actually sever and disappear for lengths of time. A part of yourself that you can't acknowledge without excruciating pain--the pain of being forcibly removed from the only person you truly want to be near, at the cost of all else.
The longer you live with this pain, the more it burns itself into you. I've turned into a strange mishmash of emotional defaults (though I suppose, these problems aren't unusual with me). I'll turn from complete apathy about the situation to exuberant just to speak with him to a teary eyed, pained creature who speaks as if it's the end of the world, but she can't die.
Now, keep in mind that this is what can happen if you truly LOVE the person you're with. I'm sure you can imagine all the atrocities of what others can do when one or the other (or both) feel no love for the other. Lies, hatred, passive aggression, revenge, cheating(which is a variable that only counts if it's hidden from the other, emotional cheating, or in most cases where jealousy or either party wouldn't approve).
It's been two years. Two FUCKING years. Of course, with more to come. I'm off to college next year(80% sure it won't be his, because I am sure as hell not jeopardizing my future career to spend about a hundred thousand of dollars just to go to his college and be with him there until he leaves two years before me), the distances have long been about a thousand miles already, with not much changing, and he'll have two more years before he finishes his degree--four for me.
I want this to end. But I couldn't dare leave him, what good would that do? I've thought it over, and there is nothing I can do to improve my situation. At least this way, I can still occasionally hear his voice, maybe see his face...
Anyway, do you see all that pain, frustration, and all around desperation above? Do you want that?
Just trust me here, you don't.
Long distance relationships don't work. Ever.
The only time they do is if they're for very short amounts of time, in which you know for sure that the other will return and when--hence distance isn't really the issue, it's absence with a promised return, a vacation perhaps.
No one likes a long distance relationship, unless of course, they never really felt for the other person anyways.
Just don't start it, and avoid it at all costs. Because it will slowly destroy you, no matter how strong you are.
